Chapter 10 ~ Focus

Tracking was intensely tedious.

It irritated me to follow a scent with no clue to the final destination.

I loathed to be kept in the darkness.

Where was Victoria going?

What was she planning to do?

Why was she travelling so far?

I would do anything just to hear her thoughts, so I would know what her intensions were.

I was even starting to reconsider my tracking skills.

I truly wasn’t any good at it.

Was I really tracking Victoria’s sent?

What if Victoria never left Washington and was really close to Bella right at this moment and no one was protecting her.

NO. I couldn’t think about that possibility.

 I had to keep believing I was on the right track or my composure and most likely my mind would be lost.

It would be worthwhile in the end – when I found Victoria.

She wouldn’t know what was coming for her.

Or what I was planning to do with her for being a threat to my beloved Bella.

I had tracked her scent south.

I stayed hidden in the trees and countryside as much as possible, trekking up and down mountainous and more rugged areas of America. I was trying to avoid as many people as I could because I wasn’t able to hunt as often as I should. It was essential for me to stay focused to ensure I didn’t lose the scent I tried so hard to keep fresh in my mind.

I had been on following Victoria’s trail for over a week so far, and I was nearing the state of Texas.

I did not hasten myself in my quest – I took my time, following the scent carefully, keeping it strong in my mind.

I would catch up to her eventually – I had all eternity.

Whilst tracking it was a strain to keep a constant focus on my objective, and not allow myself to be distracted by thoughts of Bella. It was extremely challenging, especially since tracking was mind-numbingly monotonous. As a result of being jaded, I frequently had momentary lapses in my concentration.

I found myself wondering what was happening in Bella’s world. Where was her life taking her? And the most important thing – was she happy?

I was desperate to know every single detail.

I desired to smell her overwhelming scent again. I wouldn’t have any problem tracking my Bella. I would be able to track her scent everywhere without the slightest difficulty.

I had been so close to her – to going to see her astonishingly beautiful face. It would have been so straightforward to remain a part of her life from the shadows; hiding in the trees, like I did when the sunlight kept me from the public eye.

I didn’t want to be deceitful and break the last ounce of trust that Bella had in me, the last promise I made – never to come back.

As if I never existed, I remembered.

I asked Alice not to look at Bella’s future.

I had made her promise.

I just longed to be in the know.

I could live as long as Bella did.

Well if you could call what I was doing, living.

Living means making the most of life and having something to live for.

I knew I had things important to me – my family and of course my Bella.

But if I couldn’t be with Bella, then I didn’t see that what I had could qualify as a life. I merely existed, wasting away slowly but surely….suffering greatly in the process.

I was ready to admit defeat.

I wanted to give up tracking and return to the solitude of my misery.

But my intention was to keep Bella safe. The magnitude of this task filled my mind, reminding me that I had to get rid of the volatile creature I was stalking.

As I entered the state of Texas, Victoria’s sent got significantly stronger – was it possible she was still here? Was I nearing the end of my quest?

My determination intensified.

She was near.

I could feel it.

Long awaited revenge would soon be mine.

My speed quickened – I was desperate to finish this. I dodge the surrounding trees swiftly, still staying inconspicuous and out of the bright sunlight that shone through the sky.

Suddenly, I skidded to a halt. Victoria’s scent split into two directions – one further south and the other in an east direction. I thought this was strange, unless she had been at this exact location more than once recently? That was the only possible conclusion I could come to.

In effort to help me decide which scent to follow, I wanted to call Alice and ask if she could see Victoria’s current and future destinations.

Would Alice be able to see visions of Victoria?

I doubted it – Alice probably couldn’t help me anyway, she was not attuned to Victoria and asking for her help defaced the whole point of tracking.

Alice would have told me if she could see visions of Victoria – to stop me from coming on this tracking expedition unless she was hoping I would fail.

I would not fail. I couldn’t fail

I would succeed, to keep my Bella safe.

One scent was distinctly stronger than the other, therefore I concluded that this strong scent was the more recent and it would be logical to follow it.

I inhaled deeply taking in the scents around me to ensure I had not been mistaken. The scent heading in a southerly direction was definitely the more apparent one whereas the scent heading east was rather faded and smelt old; as far as my new developed tracking skills could envisage anyhow.

I sprinted further south eager to find my target. The trail seemed endless and I ran for hours continuously following the unchanging scent. I began to worry that I was following the wrong trail. But I couldn’t have made a mistake – I was positive.

Victoria was faster than I had anticipated.

Soon enough, I found myself crossing the border into South America.

The sun began to fade slightly, and I was getting increasingly agitated.

Was I imagining things?

It was not possible. I hadn’t stopped running at full speed for days – not even to hunt. I was getting desperate now.

When and where would the trail end?

My question was answered the next day.

A hot, sunny and green destination awaited me.

Brazil.

The scent trail ended abruptly and I knew I had failed.

I hailed deeply numerous times taking in every odour around me. All I could detect was the nearby wildlife and surrounding trees.

There was no other trace of Victoria.

I screamed out a snarl in disgust.

The trail I had followed to Brazil was false.

How could I have been so blind and idiotic?

It never really occurred to me that I might fail.

I detested myself for being so naïve.

Why couldn’t I have the skill of tracking instead of the ability to read minds? My own vampire talent seemed so insignificant because the one mind I desired to read was unreachable to me. Why couldn’t I have a skill that was able to protect Bella?

I fell to the floor and rested my head on my knees.

My head was spinning

I was so confused.

How could I have been so wrong?

More importantly, what should I do now?

I ran through my options in my head.

I could go back to Texas and follow the other scent.

Or I could go back to Washington and begin the hunt again.

NO. My empty chest screamed at me.

I wouldn’t be strong enough to stay away from Bella again, if I went back.

All I wanted was Bella to take me in her arms and lovingly soothe away my pain and foolishness.

I was ready to surrender.

I was ready to go back.

Back to Forks.

Back to my Bella.

I wandered around Rio for eight days, arguing with myself – contemplating my choices and concentrating on making my decision.

I felt like the two different sides of my brain were in a constant dispute. One side arguing to stay away, to remain on my own in desolation and surrounded by nothingness; whilst the other side screamed at me to go back to the over cast town of Forks.

I was literally being torn apart.

I had to face up to reality – I couldn’t track and I couldn’t protect my Bella.