Dark Moon [Edward's New Moon]: Chapter 15 ~ Reconciliation

The more I deliberated over the details of my situation – the more confident I became about my current plan.

Nobody would get hurt with the exception of me, which is all I cared about.

Why should others suffer for me?

They shouldn’t.

I had already caused pain to enough people.

Bella.

Bella’s family and friends for having had a hand in her death; and now my own family too.

I felt extremely guilty for bringing agony to my family, but I simply could not go on living without Bella.

I would follow Bella wherever she went from now on.

The blazing sun was rising up into the sky.

I had made the decision to make my appearance into the sunlight when the sun was at its highest point in the sky – Noon.

That would coincide with the festival taking place in the Palazzo dei Priori – it would be at its busiest and overcrowded – giving me a large audience and creating a substantial disturbance for the Volturi.

I would step into the light precisely as the clock tower located on the edge of the square tolled twelve. For now I had to wait.

The wait was bearable compared to what I had endured in recent times. But still I felt tremendously impatient. The time until my reunion with Bella seemed like a century away. In comparison, the wait before I had left Forks had flown by, and now I wondered why time seemed to deny us our heart’s desire.

Maybe I was thinking too much.

Time didn’t slow or stop in reality.

It consistently ticked by.

I didn’t want to prolong the remaining seconds of my existence. I sought solace.

I wanted my home; my Bella.

I spent my final hours imagining our reunion. When we were reunited, would she forgive me?

Even in death?

I watched from the shadows as the square became crowded; it was almost time. The alleyway where I had first encountered Demetri and Felix was located directly under the clock tower at the Palazzo dei Priori. That’s where I would wait out the last few minutes before eventually stepping out to my death.

I could see the clock from my current location. It showed me that I had a quarter of an hour left; fifteen long minutes.

I made my way inconspicuously through the cobbled streets of Volterra to the narrow alleyway.

The words echoed through my mind.

‘I wasn’t going to live without you.’ – My own words.

Spoken to Bella on her previous birthday.

I was infuriated that Bella’s life had ended so soon, but I was more furious about the fact I hadn’t been there to protect her.

I hated the thought of her being alone.

Alone and falling.

Thrashing and drowning.

Deathly cold in the churning sea.

Gasping for air as her last breath ebbed and she was taken prisoner by the water.

Stop it! I ordered myself.

I didn’t want to visualise her death, but my mind would not be controlled. It was determined to remind me of exactly what I had caused.

In my final minutes I thought it would be appropriate to reflect on what I would leave behind – my loved ones, my family.

I would miss them all in their own individual ways.

Carlisle, my creator, my father. How I admired his strength, courage and compassion. He was such a wonderful being.

Esme, my guardian, my mother. The most loving and caring being who ever lived. Oh, how I loved and admired her.

Emmett, my brother. His amusing attitude made me laugh and he gave me strength.

Jasper, my most recent brother. I felt a huge amount of gratitude towards him for showing me that my love was in need of protection. He was a comfort to me, in more ways than one.

Rosalie, a most selfish creature. But she gave me guidance and love like a true sister.

Alice, my favourite sister. How could I begin to explain how wonderful she was or how much I loved her? She made me smile and brought me joy. I would miss her tiny, annoying being the most.

The most important person was not part of my family, and now never would be.

The most amazing person.

My Bella.

The very reason for my existence.

We would be together again soon.

I knew I would hurt my family terribly by carrying out this suicide mission but they were better off without me.

There was no meaning to my life now it was devoid of my Bella. I loved her endlessly and could not possibly live without her.

I was sorry for not being a commendable companion, son, brother.

Sorry for the hurt.

I apologise for the pain.

I’m sorry for not being a worthy enough, not strong enough.

Truly apologetic and full of remorse, I would endure the guilt of my sins – even in death.

I rested my head on the stone building behind me waiting for the final seconds to pass.

Death was imminent.

The clock tolled for the first time marking the approach of high noon. The echoing sound was soothing and helped calm my anxious state.

I was able to hear the thoughts of the several Volturi guard members nearby waiting to attack instantly, ready for the impending exposure of our kind.

I closed my eyes and ignored the voices in my head and stepped to the edge of the shadows.

I was ready to sparkle for the world to see, so I removed my shirt at dropped it at my feet.

As the clock continued to chime, booming throughout the square, I heard Bella call my name in the distance.

I smiled.

I had craved for so long to hear her voice again.

It rang in my ears, and the sweet sound made me melt.

It sounded extraordinarily real.

I knew I was hallucinating but I welcomed the insanity.

I pictured Bella’s face behind my closed eyelids.

She beamed at me, her smile was brilliant.

“Edward!” She called me into the light.

Patience my Bella, I thought, not wanting the sound of spoken words to destroy my glorious moment.

“Edward, look at me.”

Her voice stunned me and I took an involuntary step forward towards the sound.

My terminal moment arrived as the eleventh toll rang I took my step into the light.

My final step.

Something collided with me as I made my movement forward. But I felt no pain.

I instinctively held my arms out in front of me – not to attack, just to block or catch whatever it was that had flung itself into me.

I slowly opened my eyes as the twelfth toll rang – doing what Bella had said, and to see where I now found myself.

All I saw was Bella in my arms.

I was astounded.

“Amazing.” I whispered

I had a soul after all.

It was a general belief that vampires had no soul; I now knew that to be a myth. Because I had one…and it had taken me to heaven.

I was with my love, my Bella.

I was filled with love and wonder.

I could actually feel her in my arms.

My chest was no longer hollow.

My heart had been replaced.

I was whole again.

“Carlisle was right.” I spoke in a voice radiating astonishment.

I lifted my hand to touch Bella’s cheek to ensure she would not disappear as quickly as she has arrived.

She didn’t.

Electric shocks ran through my body.

She was truly real.

It was like the past six months had not occurred and I was finally back where I belonged.

“Edward.” Bella whispered my name again and my dead heart shuddered. This was beyond anything I could ever have imagined.

I inhaled deeply.

Her scent set my throat on fire, but there was a difference. With the burning, there came no desire to eradicate her by indulging her blood; only contentment and joy. Her scent had not changed – the sweet bouquet of freesia smelt more luxurious than ever.

I could hear her heart beating furiously in her chest – pumping the warm blood around her body. Her pulse was rapid - like it generally was when we were intimately close.

This was perfect.

As I embraced Bella, stroking her hair, I was marvelled.

My death occurred immediately.

The Volturi had acted instantaneously to prevent my exposure.

“I can’t believe how quick it was.” I told my Bella. “I didn’t feel a thing – they’re very good.”

I gently kissed her hair and closed my eyes.

I experienced another recollection from Bella’s previous birthday where I told her I envied Romeo’s ease of suicide.

That jealously has been misconstrued.

My own suicide had been simple – all it had taken was a step into the sunlight.

“Death hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath no power yet upon thy beauty.” I quoted Shakespeare’s character. “You smell exactly the same as always. So maybe this is hell. I don’t care. I’ll take it”

Although, I could never possibly envisage this being hell.

I was with Bella – and that was all that mattered.

Bella spoke agitatedly interrupting my thoughts.

“I’m not dead. And neither are you! Please Edward, we have to move. They cannot be far away!”

I felt a struggling movement in my arms.

I was confused by her words and her belligerent movements. We were happy and safe – what was she talking about?

“What was that?”

“We’re not dead, yet! But we have to get out of here before the Volturi –“

My eyes flashed open as I heard nearby thoughts.

He has a human with him.

This will mean death surely…for them both. Maybe the master will allow me to devour the human at Edward’s expense.

Comprehension crashed down on me.